The English Premier League Weekend in poetic form.
Since I’m not well versed (see what I did there, Clive?) in classical Japanese poetry, I can’t and will not even pretend to try anything more clever than a well known 3 line poetic form based on the concept of 5 syllables, then 7 syllables and then 5 syllables. So no, don’t expect anything as elegant as Karuta, the Japanese Card game based upon the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu, a classic Japanese poetry anthology of 100 poems, or waka, written by 100 different poets.
No….none of that. I’m going to keep it as simple and stupid as possible. Here goes.
Burnley 1 Manchester City 0
Shocker at Turf Moor
Pelligrini’s Men were baked
Burnley takes the cake
Leicester City 0 Hull City 0
No one scored for Hull
The Foxes out-foxed no one
Match was dull dull dull
Crystal Palace 3 Queens Park Rangers 1
Selhurst Park was rocked
When Phillips scored a cracker
Hoops lost any way
Chelsea 1 Southampton 1
Chelsea had to win
So did Soton. In the end
Goals and points were shared
ManU(re) 3 Tootenham 0
ManU(re) stinks so bad
On the farm and Old Trafford
Tottenham stunk worse
Everton 3 Newcastle United 0
Toon was out of tune
Everton was glorius
Happiness in ‘Pool
Sunderland 0 Aston Villa 4
Why did Villa win?
Gabriel Abonglahor
Stadium of Dark
West Bromwich Albion 1 Stoke City 0
Sparky’s no Tony
Not a cold rainy Tuesday
Happy at Hawthorns
Arsenal 3 West Ham United 0
Ramsey blew bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
Hammer’s bubbles popped
And now….a bold prediction sure to go wrong:
Swansea City ? Liverpool ?
Liverpool sings like
Ringo, but they still give the
Swans ballet lessons
There. Poetic justice delivered.
As simple and stupid as it gets.
Tastes mighty good right now so
I’ll have another
