Paleoethnometeorology

 

Japan 2 (3)     USA 2 (1)

I was going to say nothing about the Women’s World Cup since I really had nothing much to say other than the obvious. We puked on our shoes in the Penalty Kicks. No way to sugar coat the obvious even if it pisses Hope Solo off to say so. And I am still going to say nothing about it. Not a word. Mum. Lips sealed. That’s me. Nothing about “Fock anime and manga, I’ll only to watch the Goddamn Batman from now on.” Not a bit of that. I’m not even going to blame it on culture. I’m not going to sally forth into a textbook polemic about The Anthropology of Sports in America and The World and How Climatic Change Is Having A Uniquely Curious Effect On It as though I were some paleoethnometeorologist.

Yeh….I’ll admit I was really looking forward to a more positive result….The Dolls Of Summer, Part 2….but instead, we and you and I are stuck with this. Whatever this might evolve/devolve into.

Other things I will not write about are The Mass Killing in Norway; The Death of Amy Winehouse; and The Ongoing Republican Fucktardery in Washington and Wisconsin. The news of world rolls along but I’ve nothing to say about any of that either, except for sorry and condolences in the former 2; and sorry is as sorry does in the latter. All that dross and tragedy can roll in like fog, and it would and can dull your soul forever if you only obsessed upon it and nothing else. Better to note it all with alacrity, but quickly file it away. There’s light out there somewhere, and a foghorn…even if it’s only me just bellowing away.

That’s why I mostly obsess about sports. It’s gives us a better gauge of human nature, the human soul, and the human spirit. Also, the weather has been terrible lately. But at least we can deal with that.

 

 

 

 

In Theory, At Least, The NFL Labour/Owner Problems Have Been Solved And The Season Will Begin Shortly

 

Real Football, which of course means NFL Fantasy Football is set to begin in earnest very shortly. As soon as the votes are tallied, the NFLPA re-certified, the Union Cards signed…..but fuck all those tedious details. Who are YOU drafting the first round? If you have any sense, you’re drafting Aaron Freaking Rodgers. End of fucking story, chumplin. I ought to know….I’ve won MY Fantasy League 2 seasons in a row. And since I’m retired from NFL Fantasy Football I can poke at it with a stick and poke at all you chumplins with a stick and while yer at at it…chumplins, you might want to take a flyer on Lance Kendricks in the later rounds. He will save Sam Bradford’s ass more than once this season….and he could very well end up saving YOUR Sorry Fantasy Ass as well. You heard it hear first.

As for me, I’m giving Proper Fantasy Football another go. I will be playing EPL Fantasy Football. Will Wayne Rooney save MY fantasy ass this season?? Maybe….but I’m thinking more in the lines of Grant Holt or Scott Sinclair. It’s a salary cap league and I definitely want a good striker for cheap, and Holt or Sinclair could very well fit the bill. I spent last season figuring out the game mechanics of my league….it had a strict 25 transfer limit with no way to buy more….and as Winter ground into Spring, I was left with a few slugs that I could not unload or replace. So this season I’ll have to keep that in mind, and I will.

That, plus I’m playing UEFA Euro 2012 Qualifying Fantasy Football. And the first smartass that says I should take a flyer on Shitov is gonna get slapped. Shitov is currently in my lineup and he got me 6 solid fantasy points on matchday 8. He’s been solid on my backline, although I haven’t used him in every match. His team-mate, Yuri Zhevnov has been my starting goalkeeper for almost every round so far. He’s been the top-performing goalie in Euro 2012 Qualifying so far. Matchday 9 is September 2nd & 3rd. Matchday 10 is September 6th. Keep firm hold on your lightning rods…the weather is going to get turbulent!

 

 

F1 to institute Chase for The Championship format in 2012

 

Lewis Hamilton won this morning’s GROSSER PREIS SANTANDER VON DEUTSCHLAND 2011 at the Nürburgring in Nürburg, Germany. That would be the German Gran Prix for those of you keeping score in Blanchardville, Wisconsin. He started 2nd and blasted past Mark Webber on the first lap and never looked back, despite some back and forth lead changes. Alonso and Vettel shared the podium with him. Runaway points leader Sebastian Vettel took 4th. All in all, it was a fairly exciting race up front. But I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that Vettel has the Championship already locked up with 9 races to go. All that’s left to race for, beside pride and ego, is the Constructors Championship. But realistically, it’s a two horse race and I don’t see Red Bull Renault relinquishing their lead to Mc Claren Mercedes. Yes, it’s mathematically possible that Webber, Hamilton or Alonso could catch Vettel. But it’s not bloody likely. Imagine if this had happened in NASCAR…a Championship locked up with a race or races to go. Oh wait…..that DID happen.

So…reseed the top 6 and over the last six races, Have At It, Boys! There. Another problem solved.

Meanwhile, FIFA made a sacrificial lamb of one of their own by banning Mohamed Bin Hammam of Qatar for life. Banned for life for corruption. Remember those pay packets I’ve been nattering about since forever?  Yep…caught red handed. Banning Bin Hammam is a good thing, but it’s just a first step. There’s a lot more rot in FIFA from the top on down. I don’t believe for a minute that the Sepp Blatter regime is as committed to smiting corruption as they would lead us to believe. If they think they’ve solved their problems here, they are only deluding themselves. A re-vote on awarding Qatar the 2022 World Cup should also be on the agenda.

Then there is the ongoing madness of Arsene Wenger and his Gooner Ballet Company—yeh yeh yeh Gervinho will make an impact, but how well will he perform when Swan Lake is on the dance card?  And Daniel Levy still clings stubbornly to the notion that Luka Modric will not be playing for Chelsea this season….my original assessment of this still appears sound, but the transfer fee will be higher since the deal won’t actually have Bosingwa heading to White Hart Lane as a make-weight. And as Silly Season careens drunkenly from pub to pub, what’s next? Joey Barton to Manchester United? Wait…WHAT? Funny and ha ha. I suppose the next thing we’ll hear is how Manchester City will scare the living daylights out of all their rivals this season. Oh…someone DOES think that. Slow down there, Timothy Dalton. Don’t get carried away, you only played James Bond in the movies.

 

 

Peru 4   Venezuela 1

It was nice match, a nice game. And even though it was for 3rd place in the Copa America, for Peru, it was almost as good as winning it all. No one expected them to be there. And Venezuela certainly didn’t expect to have their ass handed to them by Peru. But that is what happened.

Today’s Copa America final features Uruguay and Paraguay. These two, ahead of the Copa America, were the most likely matchup for the consolation game that Peru won yesterday. Everyone pretty much figured that today’s tilt would feature Brazil and Argentina. But those two powerhouses went down early and hard. And Uruguay who played the thrilling consolation match with Germany in last years World Cup, is figured to win this one. But Paraguay will play them tough. I wish my local pub had the Spanish channels on cable, but our local provider doesn’t offer them.

No NASCAR Sprint Cup this weekend. Austin Dillon won the Lucas Deep Clean 200 on Friday night and last night The Carl won the Federated Auto Parts 300 at Nashville. Next weekend is the Brickyard 400 and if Juan Pablo Montoya doesn’t win it I will personally drive to Indianapolis and kick his ass. That’s a pretty fuckin’ unreasonable statement I suppose. But no more so than any other emotional weather report you might read.

It feels like 86 degrees outside right now, heading to the upper 90’s,  as I enter this into an illuminated manuscript with a quill . Picking the winners is very much akin to the paleoethnometeorology of the long gone Bronze Age or Stone Age. Today I’m picking the LA Galaxy to win, draw, lose by 1 to Manchester United this afternoon. Amazing what can be done with a little snakeskin, tree bark, and simple observation. Victory, of-course, is another matter. You just have to be correct more than 50% of the time. Or get to the finish line before everybody else.

That’s why I like to ride in the front seat of the car.

I get there sooner.

The wind is now from the west at 5 mph. And what that, I’m off to the boozer.