It’s TALLADEGA, Baby!! And you know what THAT means…!!
NOW I ask y’all straight off….is that not THE BEST FUCKING BEE GEES PICTURE of All Time??
You absolutely KNOW it is.
Onward.
As for what Talladega means….well….we all know that the #1 search term that finds this little online sadness diary that is more that 15 years old is….wait for it…….TITS AT TALLADEGA.
Yes. That.
It will never be a search for Danica Patrick. Or Matt Kenseth,Robot. Or Kyle Busch Is A Terrifying True Vampire. Or The Bee Gees Think Talladega Is In Massachusetts. Nope. Never any of that.
It’s tits at Talladega. Talladega titties. And various combinations thereof. But as for our little missive today, well….good luck with that I’m afraid.
The current political climate is far worse than any emotional weather report I’ve posted in the last 15+ years. And I’m actually attempting to be a bit more cautious with my verbiage, and also, words. So the C word that ends with T, and the T word that ends with T, useful British slang they might be will be replaced with the P word that ends with K. I will strive to maintain that linguistic discipline.
Strive!!
Maintain!!
There is a Pillock running for President, after all. And his incessant, vapourous, toxic ROAR has cast a bright light on words, their use, and the attitudes that form them. So I’ll resist the obvious temptations in the lexicon of English slang and I’ll no longer demean the entire race of women to describe the pillock, wazzock, plonker, and wanker who uses his vile mouth to demean them in a single breath.
See? The use of male genitalia slang does a fine enough job of pillorying that numpty muppet tosser.
So what that means for this Fall 2016 edition of Talladega is that I will stray from the path I’ve laid out for myself. A softer, gentler, more pastoral primrose path. As far as imagery goes, that is. I will also once more thank John O’Bryan for his plumbing the shoals of anime imagery as everything other than the Bee Gees is supplied by him.
So once again, It’s Talladega Baby!! And you KNOW what that means!!
And if you don’t, then just make something up.
Ladies & Gentlemen….START YOUR ENGINES!!
Chelsea 3 Leicester City 0
Norwich City 3 Rotherham 1
Liverpool 0 ManU(re) 0
There. Some great football scores from last weekend. Obviously my Blues and my Canaries won. So all is well there.
But I’m most pleased with the dull, turgid, uninspiring, insipid 0-0 draw at Anfield. I got 6 Fantasy Football points out of that. “Satisfactory!” as Nero Wolfe would say.
Today, Norwich and Fulham collide at Craven Cottage. And Dortmund tangles with Sporting CP in a Champions League tilt at the Estádio José Alvalade in Lisbon. I am looking for more satisfactory results.
As for the weekend, just before the hallucinogenic roar of the engines cry out in Alabama, Chelsea will stomp on ManU(re) at The Bridge 2-0 or 2-1 or 3-1.
Chelsea’s 3-4-3 formation looks good and will get better. Yes. And with NASCAR’s 2×20 formation set stroll around the Talladega Superspeedway, the only satisfactory result for me there will involve a win for Matt Kenseth or Danica Patrick…though I might consider other options on a case by case basis.
We shall see, yes?
It’s TALLADEGA, Baby!! And that means on Sunday, dreams will be crushed!!
Jimmie Johnson and Kevin Harvick already have their tickets punched to the next round of The Chase with wins at Charlotte and Kansas respectively. Those two slugs can toodle around Talladega at the back all afternoon….they could even blow it off entirely and head for the garage early for a few pops. But the bloody likelihood of THAT happening is not bloody likely.
4 lads will come away from Talladega with their dreams crushed and crumpled just like their sleds will be crushed and crumpled after the expected and much anticipated Talladega trainwreck.
As much as I’d like to see Chase Elliot move on….he NEEDS to win, and baring that, he needs a LOT of help. Same scenario for Denny Hamlin.
Matt Kenseth is most likely to move on win or no….ditto his team mate and defending Champion Kyle Busch and his other erstwhile teammate, The Carl.
Now if Logano and Bad Brad can end the day in the Crushed Dreams factor, then my wonderful remark will be, “Satisfactory!”
It’s Talladega, Baby!! And THIS year that means no Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Junior is still out recovering from concussions. Alex Bowman will be guiding the 88 sled through the Talledega trainwreckage.
Perhaps someday, when the NFL becomes an obsolete distant memory there will helmets that prevent concussions, but I’m skeptical and no holding out much hope. There is no technology that can or will solve this, unless of course we wish to cede our place in the food-chain/ecosystem to the fucking robots.
Fuck the robots.
Anyway, this might be a good place to note the results from Lisbon and London from this afternoon.
Sporting CP 1-2 Borussia Dortmund. Satisfactory. We still top our group despite Real Madrid 5-1 Legia Warsaw.
And from Craven Cottage in London, it was Fulham 2-2 Norwich. Could have been worse, but definitely should have been better. Even the Fulham fans were surprised that they came from 0-2 down to draw. With Newcastle tipping over Barnsley 0-2, Norwich slips to 2nd place behind the Toon. Ah…The Championship Years….
Fuck the robots.
It’s Talladega, Baby!! And you know what that means, etc!!
It occurs to me that more and more these days, the pilgrims who land here after searching on Google, Bing, and Yandex for the aforementioned Tits At Talladega, are in for a motherfucking surprise.
I’ve being skewing away from the halcyon days and golden era of my fanservice approach to NASCAR’s most insane races of the season.
Also, the current political climate that that loud-mouthed tosser has stirred up has made me more keenly aware of both the objectification of women, and the power of words.
So mind how you go, lads. Mind how ye go.
.