In about an hour or so as I first type this, the Carfax 400 will tee off in the Irish Hills at the Michigan International Speedway. Local lad Brad Kesolowski won the Nationwide Race there yesterday, and I give him odds of a rook to get a top ten finish in today’s race. It has been a rain-shortened week.
Perhaps it is only deja vu, but I keep getting this feeling that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do continuing with the green flag today at Brooklyn Michigan, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol on Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to last Sunday morning, August 9th, and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.
“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”
And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.
Yes, our two lads, who shall remain nameless for the while, can race these next races over and over again, just as Mark Hynton and Robert August surfed the world over in The Endless Summer. In a metaphorical sense, they make summer endless….even though, unlike Hynton and August, their Summer has not been much to celebrate. At least our two lads get to postpone the inevitable shame that would fall upon them whem the checkered flag drops at Richmond on September 12th. But since September will never come….
So…in a few minute from now as I type this, the gentlemen will start their engines, and we will be off to the races, again and again and again. I will post this now, as time is fleeting. But we will meet again in Victory Lane where once again….
I also must unfortunately report that Danica Patrick WONT be saving NASCAR anytime soon.
The Sunday’s race at Watkins Glen was rained out, as expected, and, unlike the Bon Festival, was postponed until the next day. In this case, Monday, August 10th . Since I was working and was unable to watch the race, I acquired the services of an Observer who reported to me with excruciating accuracy. Tony Stewart once again edged out Marcus Ambrose for the win. And she will continue to provide me with a lap by lap recap of the race in case I’m distracted by some spurious pronouncement by the aforementioned John O’Bryan . And as I’m sure you all know, I probably might.
“Besides not qualifying for the 2391st, the 2392nd, the 2393rd….David Gilliland…well..he only qualified for the 11,053rd running of the Heluva Good! at the Glen. But he did qualify in the 36th position for every running of the Carfax 400 at Michigan International Speedway.”
Well, Well, Well! The drama of the nationwide made us all forget about Danica's neon thong (property of the Maxim photoshoot). I am happy to announce that as a result of erasure of Danica from my mind's eye, the cosmos opened up and revealed to me the conspiracy surrounding the nationwide race. Everyone I know remarked that Kyle Busch was, and has been, a whiner when a race did not go as he visualized. That this assumption, so obvious to the spectator, has not been questioned was what led me to the revelation. Do you think Mr. Busch secretly likes to get rammed in the rear, in races and in private? He pouts when the the focus is not about how many racers can view his car's bum. I am astonished! Perhaps, the next time he loses, Team Extenze can offer themselves as new sponsors. Tally ho!