LA Galaxy 0 ManU(re) 7
While Matt Kenseth and Danica Patrick were not even imaging that they would merely qualify 13th and 14th respectively for today’s Brickyard 400, ManU(re) were obvious attempting, with some success, to achieve the highest stage of manliness imaginable in front of 86,432 fans at The Rose Bowl over the LA Galaxy in a pre-season friendly. The Dutch Uncle had them out on the pitch in a boggling new formation that I’m very sorry to say seems to fit their defensive frailties quite well. Bloody HELL anyway….who’d have thought that a mighty back 3 of Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, and Jonny Evans could keep The Unidentified Fan and Landy-cakes out of the back of the net. I did not, and you did not. But the scoreline says otherwise. And thus, ManU(re) achieved the highest stage of manliness Wednesday night by ripping the panties off the LA Galaxy.
Slipping by AS Roma 3-2 in their opening tilt of the GUINNESS International Cup, at the very same time that Danica and Matt were qualifying 14th and 13th from the Brickyard 400, could not come close, even though ROONEY!!! scored another brace. Roma almost snatched a draw from the jaws of defeat with two late 2nd half goals from Pjantic and Totti, but were left, perhaps wishing Michael Bradley hadn’t shuffled off to Toronto FC ((who, btw, were trumped by my MLS faves Sporting KC 2-1 last night)).
I wonder how manly Rooney will feel when Van Persie gets back into the mix. But…you know me….I don’t really give a toss.
And remember, these are friendlies…even the Guinness Cup. I don’t see the Dutch Uncle’s brave new MANLY squad knocking their Noisy Neighbors or Chelsea off their focking perches anytime soon.
Also, it WAS Landon Donovan’s panties that they stole.
Ty Dillon wins The Brickyard 400 Junior
It’s a feat his more celebrated, cowboy-hatted older brother Austin never accomplished in his Nationwide career. Ty Dillon piloted his #3 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet to a win at the Brickyard, and got to kiss the bricks. Yes, they do that in the Nationwide Series too.
He left 5 Buschwackers in his wake as Kyle, Matt, Harvick, Logano and Menard surfed the wave behind him to the finish line. Brian Scott, Buschwacker Kyle Larson, Trevor Bayne and Regan Smith rounded out the top 10.
Leading the Europa League of NASCAR is rookie driver Chase Elliot ((who is, of course, the son of NASCAR legend Bill “Awesome Bill from Dawsonville” Elliot who will be headed for the NASCAR Hall of Fame in 2015 along with Joe Weatherly, Wendall Scott, Fred Lorenzen, and Rex White)). The kid can flat out drive. He’s really good. Will his 4 point lead on Regan Smith, 11 point lead on Elliot Sadler, and 15 point lead on the aforementioned Ty Dillon hold? Probably not, but one can only hope I suppose. He’s a kid to keep an eye on for sure.
The Europa League gives out a pretty nice trophy too, ya know.
And speaking of the Europa League….
FK Zorya Luhans’k 2 KF Laçi 1
Unless you’ve been sheltered away in, well, a cave somewhere in the Driftless Zone of SW Wisconsin, off the grid and munching on cave-aged cheddar and quaffing beer fermented with whatever spores come drifting on in, you might have missed the news about all the argy-bargy in Ukraine that was capped off by the heinous downing of a Malaysian Airlines passenger plane ((a Boeing 777 for those aviation buffs in the crowd)) killing all 298 aboard. The plane was downed near the village of Hrabove which is half-way between Donetsk and Luhansk. So an obvious question of practicality arose, as opposed to the more obvious and important questions of morality and politics and human decency.
Where to play Luhansk’s home tilt of their 2nd round Europa League qualifying tie against FK Laçi from Albania. Obviously, Luhansk could not host it. And due the on going crisis in Eastern Ukraine, a lot of matches have been moved….some even to Malta or Cyprus. But those were not available as both countries also had teams in the Europa & Champions League.
The decision was made to play the match in Kiev. It was a tighter match than their away tilt at Laçi which Luhansk took 0-3. But Luhansk cruised to the next round 5-1 on aggregate.
Their opponents will be Molde FK and I’m quite sure the Norwegian squad is not looking forward to this trip. Yes, they’ll be playing in Kiev, but the only saving grace is that it might be just a little bit safer than Chernobyl, which is just 55-65 miles up the Dneiper River from Kiev.
I always said that I’ve always said that sports can be uplifting, and can help us transcend our differences. Unfortunately, not enough of the right people are listening.
Danielle Ricciardo wins the Hungarian Gran Prix
Well….I went and didn’t do it again. Hrrrrrr!
I didn’t watch the Hungarian Gran Prix this morning. And evidently I missed a real cracker of a race.
Nico Rosberg teed off on the pole, and his teammate and BFF Lewis Hamilton had to roll out dead ass last and from pit lane no less. Well…the only question I figured the race would solve was who gets to join Rosberg on the podium this week.
But I was dead ass wrong.
Ricciardo was joined on the podium by Fernando Alonso, who strolled across the finish line in second.
But joining them on the podium was….and I don’t know HOW the fock he was able to….was none other than Lewis Hamilton!!! Yes, you read that right. HOW THE FOCK DID HE DO THAT???!! I mean really….it’s the most inconceivable finish of all-time, perhaps. And Rosberg didn’t make the podium…he finished in 4th sucking Hamilton’s exaust ((and man that’s gotta just drub him!!))
So that’s what most of y’all and I missed.
And I vow to never miss another F1 race in Europe ever again.
We’ll see how long that lasts…
Harvick leads lap 58 of the Brickyard 400, according to my New Observer
The Brickyard 400 has teed off and since I’m here writing this and not there, as in The Firehouse Bar & Grill, watching that, I sent a New Observer to watch it for me until I can make my way over there to view it first hand.
Harvick is still in the lead having started in the lead. Danica has moved up to 13th and Kenseth up to 7th.
So I suppose I ought to trot on up there fairly soon. After all, I’ve got a new Observer, and I need to observe her observations.
Nah….scratch that, I’ll just observe the race. And I might even let you know who wins. But you’re more likely to know who wins the upcoming Europa League matches between Hull City and Trenčín, or Molde and Lukhansk, before I go on and on about Harvick or Matt or Danica kissing the bricks.
Than again, as in today’s Hungarian Gran Prix, stranger things have happened.
So fasten your seatbelts.
