A String Only God Can Cut

Well…the Jeremy Mayfield saga has gotten WAY out of hand, to put it mildly. It is careening down the mountain at 110, no make that 210 spewing moonshine and apocalyptic madness in it’s wake. More failed droog tests. More counter tests that show Jeremy being clean. Imperial and arrogant NASCAR  being accused of spiking the tests. Nothing seems close to being right with all this. It’s becoming almost compelling in its twisted Jerry Springer-ish mayhem. NASCAR has an affidavit from Mayfield’s step-mother saying she’s seen Jeremy using crystal meth. Jeremy calls her, among other things, “a lying murdering gold-digging whore.”  He’s hired the toughest motherfucking attorney in Charlotte, Bill Diehl to help him take on NASCAR. This has gotten VERY UGLY, Evil Ones, and it’s going to get very much uglier. The 41-sided dice have been cast, and now there’s no turning back and all of the above, from Brian France through Jeremy Mayfield are bound up with a string that only God can cut.

“Brain France is a FAGGOT!!  Hrrrrrrr!!!  Lying, God-Digging Whores!! All of them!!”

Is Jeremy right, or is it just the droogs talking…

I really wanted to take Mayfield’s side on this, if only for the general principal that NASCAR has gotten too full of itself, too arrogant and out of touch with  divergence and commonality. Brian France and Mike Helton have pretty much leached a lot of the life and lustre and grit out of NASCAR and the drivers. So I really want it to be a better and more noble battle than what it has become.

Damn!  I’d much rather have had Mayfield sing for Mayfield. I’d much rather have had it be a more noble battle of Right vs. Might, and winning!!  I’d much rather have had THIS be the theme song:

MOVE ON UP

Hush now child,
and don’t you cry
Your folks might understand you
by and by
Move on up
towards your destination
You may find
from time to time
Complications

Bight your lip
and take a trip
Though there may be
wet road ahead
You cannot slip
So move on up
and peace you will find
Into the steeple
of beautiful people
Where there’s only one kind

So hush now child
and don’t you cry
Your folks might understand you
by and by
Just move on up
and keep on wishing
Remember your dreams
are your only schemes
So keep on pushing
Take nothing less –
not even second best
And do not obey –
you must have your say
You can past the test

That would have been much more fun and enjoyable than the seething saga of Jeremy Mayfield v. NASCAR that awaits us. Although it WILL be entertaining, and I can’t wait to see what bat-shit madness erupts from this hellcave next, I’m afraid, when all is said and done, that Mayfield will find himself at the bottom of the Aaron Fike/Shane Hmiel scrapheap…waaaay down there with the Ghost of Coked-Up Werewolf.

What doesn’t make sense about this, is that without all this, Mayfield would be racing his way to mediocrity anyway. Why mess with a lack of success…?  There obviously is more ugliness to this than meets the eye. FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS!!

“Admit it!! You NEED me to save NASCAR, right NOW!!!”

The Danica Patrick talk keeps chugging along. She paid a visit to Stewart/Haas racing this past week for a meet with Smoke. Now THAT would be awesome…Danica racing with Smoke and Newman. Hell yes I’d be all for that…except for when Matt Kenseth is racing, of course.  Danica asserts that she’ll be able to handle the heavier, less-aerodynamic Cup cars just fine. And I agree. I think she’ll do well….but she WILL need a little time in Nationwide and/or Trucks to get a feel for the subtle nuances. Maybe she can do the double next spring at Kansas when the IRL and the Trucks entertain Dorothy and Toto and Company.

“Yay!! Manly Men doing Manly Things!!”

Speaking of manly men doing manly things, Ron Hornaday made it 2 wins in a row last night at Memphis as he continues to dominate the Camping World Truck Series. And Kyle Busch, also a manly man (or manly boy) whether you like him or not, won at Gateway Int. Raceway in Madison IL.

Maybe one of these guys can cut that terrible string. But I’ve got a feeling that they’ll wisely give this all a wide berth. They’ll take the long way to the finish line. And probably just as well.

Me too, for now. Instead of bleeding this one out, I’m going to wait for the next steaming vats of shit to hit the fan.

Onward.

There are strings that only God can cut, and then are strings that only a girl can play. But sometimes the best course is to go with the latter, and let God do what he needs to do.

And that’s the way it is, Sunday, July 19, 2009.

Walter Cronkite  1916-2009

Thank you for everything, and rest in peace.