In about an hour or so as I first type this, the Heluva Good! at the Glen will tee off on the fabled road course at Watkins Glen, New York. Australian Marcus Ambrose won the Nationwide Race there yesterday, and I have him as a heavy favourite to win today’s race.
But it has come to my attention that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do starting with the green flag today at Watkins Glen, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol on Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to this Sunday morning and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.
“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”
And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.
Yes, our two lads, who shall remain nameless for the while, can race these next races over and over again, just as Mark Hynton and Robert August surfed the world over in The Endless Summer. In a metaphorical sense, they make summer endless….even though, unlike Hynton and August, their Summer has not been much to celebrate. At least our two lads get to postpone the inevitable shame that would fall upon them whem the checkered flag drops at Richmond on September 12th. But since September will never come….
So…in a few minute from now as I type this, the gentlemen will start their engines, and we will be off to the races, again and again and again. I will post this now, as time is fleeting. But we will meet again and again in Victory Lane.
I also must unfortunately report that Danica Patrick WONT be saving NASCAR anytime soon.
The race today was rained out and, unlike the Bon Festival, was postponed until the next day. In this case, Monday, August 10th . So no bug-catching for the lads. Since I will be working and unable to watch the race, I have acquired the services of an Observer who will report to me with excruciating accuracy. She will provide me with a lap by lap recap of the race if I so desire. And as I’m sure you know, of course, I will.
“Besides not qualifying for the 2391st, the 2392nd, the 2393rd….David Gilliland…well..he only qualified for the 11,053rd running of the Heluva Good! at the Glen.”
Cheers! Conspiracy theory is not dead in Texas. Oops! I mean wherever NASCAR is in full swing. I too believe it is due to the falsetto sounding Beach Boy that Ms. Patrick will not save NASCAR. It could also be due to smiley face LOGO of her underpants that she perpetually comes up short in the big events.